Blog

Welcome. And thank you. Every month or when the inspiration hits look out for a short article, similar to the reflections found in my book. Follow on Facebook or Twitter to stay connected.

Love As Discipline

In the book ‘Friendship with God’, Neale Donald Walsh says that, when our children need discipline, we should shower them with love. Love as discipline? Difficult to conceive, because when our children need discipline, it is then that we are most upset. Upset with them and disappointed with ourselves, to the point that even we need a time out. We need to figure out what method of discipline is best. We need to reevaluate how we currently raise them. We need to… Read More

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Elevator Gossip

Before work was about to begin, on the ground floor of a building, about five persons (including me) piled into an elevator. Just as the door was about to close, a middle aged woman squeezed in. She recognized the woman standing next to me and as the lift started to move, the conversation went something like this. Hello Sister, how are you? I’m doing good. And you? I’m great. How is Stella*? Ohhh  she’s not good. Stella is still in… Read More

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What Would Love Do?

In our quest for spiritual enlightenment, we get so caught up in achieving our dreams or figuring out our purpose in life, that many of us forget our core reason for being. In a recent documentary, Deepak Chopra suggested that perhaps instead, it may be better to ask ourselves how we can be more loving or giving. And so the following day, from the moment I woke up, I began to ask; how can I love, what can I give,… Read More

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This is 40

Every decade is a milestone, but turning 40 is a game changer. It suddenly hits you that more than likely, half of your life is gone. In a couple of years, (if you have not begun experiencing it already) a midlife crisis is inevitable. Your parents, if they are still with you, are over 60 and perhaps in failing health. You now feel more pressure to spend time with them, but you also need to spend time with your growing… Read More

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Help!

A friend was complaining recently about all the stress she was under, with the kids, work and managing a household. An older gentleman turned to her and said, ‘Get help’. She looked at him as if he was in a dream world; Like it is so easy for her to ‘get help’ with work, find money to ‘get help’ at home and just find help whenever she needed it. She sighed and waved him off. But he was right. So… Read More

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123, 123 Drink!

After I hit repeat on ‘Sights’ and ‘Strong’ by London Grammar for the second time, my husband asked me, ‘Why do you like these songs so much? What do they do for you? What are they about?’ I knew he didn’t share the love. ‘Well , ‘Sights’ is about your fears, and keeping them within your sight because you have to know what you would do if you were to face them, and ‘Strong’ is about many things. The fact… Read More

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Something Old, Something Borrowed, Something New

I was selling t-shirts at an event some time ago, when a vagrant came up to me and asked for one. I shook my head and told him that the t-shirts were for sale. ‘Please Miss’ he begged. ‘Can I just have a shirt? Even if it’s not my size. I just want to feel clean.’ Ahhh Damn. He hit a nerve. Right there, my heart sank… He just wanted to feel clean. His clothes were torn and worn. His… Read More

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The Hurt Scale

I spoke to a friend recently who was a bit annoyed at his ex for shutting herself down and being so upset about their break up. ‘She took time off work. Her friends say that she’s not eating. She keeps saying nasty things about me. I never hit her or cheated on her. I don’t know what she’s so upset about. She can’t be that hurt!’   I marveled at his insensitivity. Men really are from Mars. I tried to… Read More

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Just Because We’re Your Parents

My daughter was getting ready to go to her grandmother’s house. I laid out a spaghetti strap top and a pair of shorts on the ironing board and was about to turn on the iron when she began to protest. She had already chosen a dress. I told her that the dress was a bit inappropriate because she was only going to her grandma’s and something light and casual would be more suitable. But she insisted that she wanted to… Read More

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Being Comfortable With Discomfort

We hate being uncomfortable. When our lives are thrown off balance, we do anything to get back to ‘normal’. Discomfort makes us feel inadequate. Our value seems diminished because we are unable to do what we are used to, so we scramble for the familiar. We rush to diet, we medicate ourselves, we accept mediocre jobs and allow ourselves to be taken advantage of, in search of …. ‘comfortable’. But what if we could be comfortable with discomfort? What if… Read More

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Memories That No One Can Steal

As mentioned in my last post, we all have different experiences of each other.  And as much as I know this, it became ever so real to me recently when a friend, mentor and business colleague of my husband passed away suddenly. My husband had worked very closely with him for a number of years and had nothing but love and admiration for him. He was very principled about the way he did business and well respected in the real… Read More

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Peace and Conflict

Think of anyone you dislike or have had a bad relationship with. Chances are they have friends, children or a partner whom make them very happy. It may be that his partner lives life on the same frequency that he does and they are two peas in the same pod. Or it may just be that while you get to experience him at his worst, his partner brings out the best in him. Remember, we see people as we are,… Read More

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How to Release Judgments

  1.      Recognize that we are all different. At an event last week, I sat next to a friend who is a bit of an extravert. ‘A bit of’ may be putting it mildly but many times she was a little too loud or over excited. I smiled as some of the other people near us rolled their eyes or shook their heads with obvious distain. But she couldn’t care less. She was having fun and expressing herself without reservation…. Read More

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Childhood Memories

When I look back on my childhood, I realize that the memories I cherish the most are those between five and twelve years old. I’ve realized that even though I have great memories of my teens, the childhood memories closest to my heart took place somewhere around my pre-teen years. Because of this, I am very conscious of the memories that we are creating for our daughter. Especially as she is an only child. As much as I had many… Read More

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Stop Stealing my children! – the secret cry of female dogs

In the movie 12 Years a Slave, a woman gets separated from her children at a slave auction, when they are sold to a different plantation. She arrives at the new plantation sobbing. The Mistress of the plantation wants to know why she is crying and is told that she has been separated from her children. Unperturbed, the mistress says ‘Get something to eat. Get some rest, your children will soon be forgotten.’ When I saw this, my mouth dropped in… Read More

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To Forgive or Not to Forgive

What does forgiveness really mean? If someone hurts you really, really badly but your life changed for the better because of it, do they need to be forgiven for what they did? Forgiving them for what they ‘did’ is saying that they should not have done it.  Or in other words they should not have been themselves. You are saying that there is something wrong with who they are because they did something that displeased or hurt you. Chew on this… Read More

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Sleeping Single

I read once that the fetal position is the most popular way of sleeping for single females. It must be true, because I’ve grown so comfortable sleeping that way that it has become difficult for me to fall asleep differently. Sleeping alone can be quite lonely. You get used to it, but you still miss the comfort of a partner. Most times when I’m cold and/or lonely, the arms of God can provide comfort, but not intimacy. In more ways… Read More

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In the Blink of an Eye

I was cruising home a few nights ago, when a young man dashed across the road. I slammed my foot on the brake and the car stopped inches from his waist. He stood there, frozen, wide eyed, shocked – A deer in headlights. My mind began to race. A deer in headlights, he’s in front of the car. He’s alive. I’m alive… I took a deep breath. I looked at the deer, (seriously, this was a classic deer in headlights image)… Read More

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Celebrity Endorsement

Some time ago many Saint Lucians watched with envy as West Indies Cricket Captain Darren Sammy was handed the keys to a brand new BMW. I watched Darren accepting his keys with mixed feelings. I was proud of Darren, because God knows how many times he over tanned in the sun waiting for the bus and how many lower end vehicles he drove before he graduated to his BMW. On the other hand, it always seemed that the people who could… Read More

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The AA Blanket

  As I covered my niece with the AA blanket, I realized how new it still looked. I smiled as I recalled that December afternoon about fifteen years ago, when my father spotted the American Airlines logo on a blanket in the laundry. Seeing that I had flown in on American the day before, he asked. ‘Oh? Do they give these away now?’ He knew that I could not afford to pay for it. ‘No.’ I said. ‘I swiped it!’… Read More

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You Can’t Hate People For Who They Are

  I hugged my friend tightly and tried to assure her that everything would be ok. ‘I don’t deserve this Wands.’ She said. ‘How can I not hate him?’ ‘Because you can’t hate people for who they are’ I repeated. ‘But he’s a cheater! And a bold face liar!’ ‘Maybe to you. But to someone else he’s a great son, a loving dad, a reliable friend and to another woman, he’s Mr. Romeo too.’ ‘Whatever! But to ONE WOMAN, this… Read More

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What do you do?

So I met a friend recently who I was telling about my book. ‘So what do you do?’ She asked. ‘Well, right now I am promoting my book. I am trying to penetrate the local market and also making progress in online circles’ I said. ‘Ok that’s nice. So what do you do for work?’ I sighed. I’m a writer you friggin idiot! My eyes screamed as my lips widened into a full smile. I looked at my friend, so… Read More

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It’s a purse not baggage

  I watched an episode of The Tyra Banks show that had me a bit worried about the perceptions of single mothers. I live in the Caribbean but I realized that all over the world there is a stigma attached to single mothers – the misconception that they all come with ‘baggage’! When a woman is in a relationship and decides to have a baby, she does not plan to become a single mother. (Well, a very small percentage actually… Read More

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Girl next door

    I was filling out a submission form to a literary agency some time ago which asked whether there were any special circumstances in my background that would help get my book sold. Did I have a difficult childhood? Was I affiliated with any major organization? Did I have a PHD? Did I have a particular secret that would stun the public? Did I do public speaking? Etc, Etc, Etc I felt annoyed. What it sounded like, was that… Read More

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